Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
