May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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