Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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