It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I believe in your delicious
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
