so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
