So drunk its hurt
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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