if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
