he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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