i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
