Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I CAN MOONWALK!
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
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