She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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