I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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