umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
