Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
