Christians are straight up FREAKS
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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