don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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