Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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