He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
