I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I skipped work to stalk him.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
