i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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