saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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