Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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