He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
BRING THE BAGELS
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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