im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
