I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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