Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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