I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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