So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
