he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
