idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
