Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
