she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
