i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
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