I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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