I accidentally burped into my bong.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
