4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
