Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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