thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
