Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
