we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
