i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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