I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
