they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
