omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Never underestimate the power of titties
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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