he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
