tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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