The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I can text with my tongue
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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