Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
