He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
