i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
