so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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