I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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